That is right! Better than Christmas and New Year’s combined! That magical time when everyone you play against will be completely terrible. When your KDR will have a fresh start. When no one knows the best camp spots to sit in and every new gun unlock is a mystery, wrapped in an enigma.
What did we do to prepare for Black Ops 2? We did what we do every year: Play the previous CoD until our thumbs bleed, find the scrubiest lobbies, and make ourselves feel superior by talking poorly about the other players’ mothers and fathers.
“Hey, remember when your parents had that divorce hearing and no one argued for custody? Yeah, that’s because the divorce was all your fault.”
It should be noted that “Harry Potter: Book of Spells” is also competing for your video game dollars tomorrow, but somehow it just doesn’t have the same “get drunk and trash talk” allure that Blops 2 has…
“Wow kid, you’re so bad. Did you really just cast Expelliarmus AGAIN? That’s so Sorcerer’s Stone, n00b!” – No one, ever.
Well, after a particularly rousing dose of trash talking, in the form of only using the RPG-7 in Face-Off, I got a flurry of angry messages from a particularly “sour-in-the-pants” opponent:
The rest were salty voice messages shouting profanity that I won’t bother to repeat. (But it would make his mother blush in embarrassment.) I’m no stranger to hateful messages on Xbox. In fact, I gauge the previous night’s gaming success on the number of messages I received the next day:
I decided that Mr. Meloz would need a higher-brow response, in the form of a video montage, which I then sent to Basic Meloz (also on his youtube account because he Googled me and found mine, and made sure to let his frustration be known there as well.)
“Oh God, just STOP!” – Basic Meloz after dying to yet-another RPG-7 kill.
Without further ado, my love letter to Basic Meloz in the form of the RPG-7: